Why not?

Greetings, Earthling.

Seeing that the internet gets one hooked, and seeing also the fact that I have my Sunday obligation to fulfill, I will actually be blogging once more.

The reason for this explanation is simple; I’m away.

As in, not in my bed.

not in my house

not in my village

not in malta.

I’m actually in another version of Malta: It’s called Gibraltar.

If you thought Malta was small, this place will make you rethink it.

In short, the reason why I’m actually writing about this little tax-free haven is that, a country with a similar background (endless colonisations and invasions, and a British colony) yet much smaller and no university of its own, is much better presented than Malta is.

First of all, Gibs are proud of what they have. Even if it’s just a rock full of tunnels someone else did for them. Even if their bastions are only colonial. Even if also Malta has a 100 ton gun. And reckless drivers, for that matter. And their main attraction, well, is a rock, which um, rocks…

Now we have the oldest temples in the world.

which we vandalise.

We (had/ve) some of the best architecture in the med.

which we demolish.

We had some good coastline, and lovely sea.

which we filled up with sand, fish farms and sub standard 5 star hotels.

Second of all, you can actually see living seagulls. Malta, an island so close to the sea, should be teeming with these gliding, squawking beauties, and their souvenirs should be deposited all along our coastlines.

But no. We shot them all.

Now I don’t want people to think I’m some monarchical fiend, however, I do think that colonial artefacts such as letterboxes and telephone boxes and biscuit boxes have their own charm, and we should benefit more if we left more of those and less of the more, for want of a better word, boxy specimens. And to give more character and emphasize our independence, we could paint them a nice shade of royal blue, a’ la windows xp, or the MTA website.

but no. We want to be modern, and our attempt at that is hiring some demibrained perit or a self proclaimed designer, and voila’, product Malta. big hotels. very big. you don’t need to go out ta madam, just stay in the hotel, unless you want to have a look at other hotels, which is basically all you’ll see.

One thing Gibraltar seems to have a lot is apes. Apparently they’ve infested the whole rock and run it.

We’re better than the Gibs at that; our apes run a thing called parliament.

Cheerio

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